The Hero Of Hyrule and The Fullmetal Alchemist
by Swobchi
Summary: Link is stuck in another world, he met a small family, two brothers by name of Elric, and two women by name of Rockbell. Strange creatures called homunculi are hunting him down. Who's behind all this?
1. Chapter 1

Link was lying underneath a tree on a hot summer day, nothing ws going on and Navi wasn't there at the time. He stuck a weed in his mouth and closed his eyes for a nap. All of a sudden, a flash of light struck from the sky, it could'nt be lightning; the sky was cloudless. Link stood up and spat the weed on the ground. He took his sword out of his belt and prepared for some creatures. But before he knew it, he was standing in a white placid with just a gate in front of him. Link slowly approached the entrance and searched around for the handle. Whatever just happened.... he thought to himself. I gotta get outta here! He slashed the gate with his sword several times and the gate began to open. He stared into it, and purple eyes began to open. Jumping back in suprise, he readied his shield and his sword for battle. Instead of a shadow coming out to kill him, long arms stretched out to pull him in. It was too hard to resist. Flashes of his life went by, from birth to pre-adult, then suddenly, he was falling out of the sky. Like any normal person, he screamed in terror. Unfortunately, he landed on some metal. Hard, cold, Unfeeling---  "Wah!"  "Huh? What the freak?"  Link was minorly injured, but he thought he went crazy since he heard a couple of voices. He opened his eyes and saw two strangers. A young blonde boy and a suit or armor. "Uggh..." Link moaned. He rose up. "Where am I...?"  "Where are you??" questioned the blonde boy. "You fell out of the sky! And you dented my little brother!"  Link was so confused. He stared at the angry blonde boy and the 7 foot suit of armor.  "Bwahaha! Little brother. For a small boy like you, you're pretty funny!" He said with a friendly punch on the arm.  The boy was even more pissed. "SMALL?!?! YOU'VE GOT ELF EARS! WHY AREN'T YOU CLOSER TO THE GROUND THAN I AM?!?!"  "Why are you so angry? You're 10, you're at your average height!"  "Except I'm NOT 10! I'm a 15 year old state alchemist!" The boy turned his right arm into a blade.  Link was awestruck. "Uh... I'm sorry, I uh... didn't really know that uh... you were..."  The suit of armor finally spoke. "Um, you can ignore him. I can calm him down somehow... Excuse us for a second..."  The armor whispered to the boy, "Calm down or tell Winry you love her!"  Link realized how the tempered hothead became the kind social type that quickly.  "Sorry for that good sir!" said the boy. "My name is Edward Elric, but you may call me Ed for short! This is my little brother, Alphonse, but you can call him Al."   "Ed, you've never talked like that before." said Al.  Edward gave an annoyed look at his brother. "People change." He muttered. "So anyway, what's your name?"  Link smiled at them as if they were just a couple little kids. "I'm Link, from Hyrule. Uh--" He reached for his sword, but it wasn't in his belt. "Crap!" he exclaimed, startling the brothers. "The Master Sword! Where'd I put it?"  Ed gave an evil grin, returned his right arm to normal, and ran away. "I got it right here!" He said, waving it around  "Ed! Come back!" exclaimed Alphonse; who chased after his brother. _He's stealing the Master Sword!_ Link thought. He doesn't know what it can do! He ran for the blonde shorty and the tin can.    Ed and Al arrived at a small home in a grassy plain. A sign stood outside it saying "Rockbell Automail" They ran inside and greeted a blonde woman with a jumpsuit halfway on who was carrying a box. "Heya, Winry!" Edward said. "I got this from a guy in a odd green hat!"  "A sword?" asked Winry. "Seems odd, a guy in a green hat carrying a sword."  "Yeah, yeah, but see he's coming after me to take it back. Got a place for me to hide?"  "Uh... well the basement's empty, but I need you to take this there." She handed him the box.  "Uh sure... well bye!" Ed was about to dash off to the basement when Link barged through the door.  "HOLD-IT-RIGHT-THERE!!" He said, pointing at Edward.  Ed rolled his eyes. "I am holding it; this box acutally."  "Give me the Master Sword!"  "What sword?"  "...You frickin'..." Then Link remembered how angry Ed was when he called him small. _Heehee... _Link thought with a slight grin. "You frickin little tiny brained midget! No wonder you can't remember! But your so short, the sword must've been too big for you! How could you POSSIBLY misplace it?"  Ed was more than pissed. "WHO YOU CALLIN A PIPSQUEAK MIDGET WITH A MIND SO SMALL YOU CAN' EVEN SEE IT AND IS SO MUCH SMALLER THAN A STUPID MASTER SWORD!?!?!??!" Bellowed Ed, swinging Link's weapon around.

_Gotcha..._ thought Link. He crushed Ed's right foot and grabbed his sword right out of his hand. Edward let out a shriek and grabbed his foot. Link was about to leave, but Winry stopped him in his tracks. "Hey," she called. "That was pretty smart. You might be able to help these two brats."

"Winry, we don't need any frickin help!" cried Edward. Alphonse however, seemed okay with the idea. "Why sure you do..." replied Winry. "Well then, may I know your name, green hat?"

Link was just about to make a run for it, too. "I'm Link..." he said. "I usually just talk when needed... or when i just wanna Mingle."

"Well then, Link, would you like to stay over?"

"Uh.... I shouldn't..." Dani started coming down the stairs in the residence. "Hey Link..." she said. Link replied, "Hey Dani..."

Winry, Edward, and Alphonse were awestruck. "HOW DO YOU KNOW EACH OTHER????"

Dani shrugged. "I'll just say a few words, and you make it out. Coma, Gate, Hyrule, Link, 3 days, gate, wake up."

The three were twitching, but Link and Dani knew exactly what it meant. And Edward could see how Winry had a crush on Link. "You two," started Winry. "aren't dating, are you?"

Dani and Link were shocked. "HELL NO!"

Dani stepped up. "Link's dating the Princess of Hyrule!!!! Ain't dat right Link?" Link said nothing, just blushed and turned away. "Aww he's just shy!"

Winry was somewhat pissed off. "Well anyway Link, do you wanna stay over?" Link wasn't so sure anymore, so he just shrugged. Winry of course, took it as a yes. "Okay! Then you can stay! Where do you want to sleep?" "Um... the couch or the floor I guess...." Edward decided to butt in "Well let's see then!" He punched Link in the head and knocked him out to the floor. "The Floor it is!" he gave a dumbfounded smile to Winry (:D)


	2. Link the quiet

Swobchi: Sheesh Ed, don't get all jealous of Link!

Ed: Winry is mine! REWRITE THIS FRICKIN STORY!

Swobchi: NO WAY SHORTAY!

Ed: WHAD U SAY???

Swobchi: I'm writin this story! So....

Ed: *falls into black hole*

Swobchi: Now everyone is happy!

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Winry wasn't pleased with Ed. She took a wrench out of her toolbox and let it fly to the stubborn head of the Fullmetal Alchemist. "Sheesh Ed!" She hollered. "What's wrong with you?!" Edward just sighed. "Nyah... I'll just go upstairs now..."

Dani was poking link multiple times, trying to remember what made him wake up. "DON'T TOUCH HIM!"

Winry's shrill voice shocked Dani and she flew back to the couch.

3 hours had passed, and Link was beginning to wake up. "Well now ya wake up!" smiled Winry. Link blinked a couple of times until he was entirely awake. "So, can you tell me about Zelda?" Link was too embarrassed. He smiled nervously and shook his head. "Aww... that's okay I guess...." whined Winry. "Anyway, do you wanna come to the table to eat? Aunt Pinako went on vacation, so I'm in charge of the house." Link didn't want to see Ed, the boy who held a grudge against him. So Winry decided to leave Link alone. "Soup's in the microwave it you want it, kay?"

Link nodded and waited for Winry to leave the living room entirely. He snuck out

the front door and took out his bag, to look at the pictures from his hometown,

Ordon, to his new town, Hyrule. _Now that I think of it.... _Link thought to himself. _My _

_house in Ordon was kinda crappy... But at least people liked me. _He put his bag back on and decided to go wander around. He found a piece of grass and played Epona's song. Epona, was his horse. The melody scattered all of amestris, and Epona, was somehow running to Link. Awestruck, he climbed on his horse and galloped away. Winry was staring at him through a window. _Oh, Link... _she thought _Ditch "Zelda" for me please?_

_------------------------------------------------------_

Swobchi: It might've been short okai? It's 2:41 AM here! Im bored n i dunno watta type!

Ed: *comes out of black hole*

Swobchi: Frack. Well anyway I wanted Link to be as quiet as he was in the video games.... the only LOZ game I've played is TP.

Ed: MAKE WINRY LOVE ME!

Swobchi: STHU!!!!


	3. Long Green Haired boy in a skort

Swobchi: Wai hello der!

Ed: yea, yea welcome.

Swobchi: Be nice, O' Pinto Bean.

Ed: I WILL MURD--- *falls into black hole*

Swobchi: Don worry, I'm not a Link fangirl, just a fan. And I only made Winry love Link to get Ed all pissed.

Ed: IT WORRRKKKKEDDD!

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Link was riding on Epona just looking around Resembool. Compared to Ordon, Resembool was lonely. He didn't notice people strying to figure out what was with the green hat. He didn't want to go back to the house, since Ed didn't seem too nice, but mostly because he didn't want to upset him after the "little" mishap. Winry was watching him through the living room window, and Ed was staring at her envying Mr. Green Hat. And neither of them were paying attention to Al, who was trying to point out that they kept forgetting Link had elf ears. Link was finally away from everyone; he dismounted his horse and sat under a tree, thinking that the same thing would happen if he did: he would go through the gate and fall out of the sky. But being in the gate felt like something was ripping him apart, so he decided not to leave just yet. He napped for 10 minutes, when he woke up, a boy that looked very much like a girl with long green hair, stared at him with an evil grin. "So," he started. "You're the one father told us about. You won't be able to destroy our race." LInk gaped at him, wondering 2 things. What did he want, and why is he in a skort? The strange boy flew back and ran. Link was still gaping, _A boy with long green hair in a skort..._ Link thought to himself. But he failed to notice the tattoo on the boy's leg: The ouroboros, sign of the homunculus. Back in the Rockbell residence, Winry and Edward were aruguing.

"SHEESH, EDWARD! LINK HASN'T COME BACK YET! YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!"

"ME?! HE COULD TELL YOU WERE HITTING ON HIM THAT'S WHY HE LEFT! PLUS, IT'S ONLY BEEN 10 MINUTES!"

"I DON'T CARE! GO FIND HIM!"

Dani was creeping down the stairs, trying not to get noticed. She went out the door to look for Link. Dani found Link by the Big Oak Tree with Epona.

"Oh my gosh!" She cried. "How'd you find her?"

Link pulled out a piece of grass and held it to his mouth, he blew into it, letting out a tune that would call Epona when needed. "Oh..... um.... where's your bag?"

....................................

"Father!" cried the green haired boy. "I found the quiet green hatted kid!"

"Good work, Envy." came a voice from a dark area in the room. "What's that you got there?"

"This is his bag.... It just has some hick-looking clothes and some "precious memories." He said rolling his eyes.

"Precious memories?"

"Photos, father."

"Bring them to me."

The boy known as Envy took the photos out of the bag and handed them to his father. They both smirked with the same idea.

...................................

"Winry, If YOU'RE so worried, YOU GO LOOK FOR HIM!"

"NO WAY! It's too embarassing."

Al still was ignored. "Uh... Dani just went to go--"

"Not now, Al. WINRY, I'M NOT GOING TO GET THAT IMMEDIATE CHANGED *****!"

"Don't you DARE call him that! PIPSQUEAK!"

"NOW YOU'VE DONE IT!"

Al decided to give up. He went upstairs for the rest of the day.

-----------------------------------------

Swobchi: Wuz that enuf fo u? Ahhh poor Al didn't get loved. Yes I know how in chapter one LInk was kinda talkative.... well since there's Legend of Zelda mangas, I thought it would be okay to make him the kid he was.

Ed: THEN WINRY WOULD NEVER HAVE FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM! MAKE HIM A KID!

Swobchi: *suffocates Ed* Oh, and sorry to you Edward Fangirls.

Ed: OOOOH! FANGIRLS!

Swobchi: .............


	4. Link's disappearance

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters. (Except for Dani) Fullmetal Alchemist goes to Funimation and Legend of Zelda to Nintendo. (GINNY! SHEESH NINTENDO HELPED MAKE HARRY POTTER! DONT GO AGAINST DA LINK YO!)

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Swobchi: Hello der!

Ed: Ya hullo...

Swobchi: Ed you aint givin Al much luv. go check on im.

Ed: okay... *goes upstairs* Hey Al?

Al: OH IM A GUMMY BEAR, YES IM A GUMMY BEAR! I'M A YUMMY TUMMY FUNNY LUCKY GUMMY BEAR!

Ed: o.O *leaves*

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Link looked around and shrugged.

"Anyway," said Dani. "If you don't wanna go back to the house, can I at least feed Epona there?"

Link said she could if she didn't let anyone else ride Epona. He lay back down and went back to sleep, forgetting about his bag.

..................

In the meantime, Envy was disguising himseld as Zelda. A Ring of light appeared above his head and ran down his body, allowing him to look, smell, and sound exactly like Zelda. "Now then," 'she' smirked. "Where's Link?" (Btw, since it's Envy in Zelda disguise, I'm gonna but 'He' instead of 'She')

..................

Winry gave up arguing with Ed and dragged him out of the house where she say Dani feedin Epona. "WOW!" exclaimed Winry. "You got a horse! Let me ride!"

"No, I can't let you."

"WHAAAT? WHY NOT??"

"She's Link's horse, and he told me not to let anyone ride her." Dani said rolling some hay to the horse.

Ed smirked. "NOW do you hate Link, Winry?"

"SHUT UP ED!"

..................

Envy/Zelda spotted Link napping. He was kind of uncomfortable having be gay, or needing to act like a girl at the time, but he needed to do this for his father. "Link!" He cried out. Link woke up remembering the voice. He stood up and saw Zelda run to him.

"Thank goodness I found you," Envy/Zelda said. "But there's something important i need to show you, follow me!" He grabbed Links hand and ran to the house of the homunculi.

Twilight was coming and the cress on Link's hand began to glow. Envy ran inside to the house and let go of Link; a cage fell onto the hero.

The green haired boy returned to his original form, laughing. "Foolish little 'hero'"

he said. "A small boy like you can NEVER defeat us homunculi." as he walked closer. Link was steaming with anger. He drew his sword and slashed Envy multiple times. Envy looked like he was dying, eyes with shock, and body cut in pieces. Link was beginning to look around for something that could help him get out when the homunculus spoke. "Just like I said..." said the massacred body which was reforming. "You can't defeat the homunculi." Envy appeared behind Link with an arm blade, waving it at him. Link turned around with a few cuts on his back. He raised his shield to defend himself, but Envy disintegrated it.

-------------------------

Winry was bored to death. She wasn't allowed to ride Epona, it was a Saturday, and Link wasn't around. She was in her room, sitting on a chair almost falling asleep. She lay her head on the desk in front of her, and without knowing, her shadow moved itself, turning to an imp-like figure. The figure had red hair, and a red eye, a helmet covered the other. The figure had a fang poking out of it's mouth. It was somewhat nude, but with no features (having trouble write that you know. *shiver*), just a black and white body. Midna! "Don't fall asleep yet, little girl!" cried Midna. Winry jumped, seeing floating above where her shadow would be was an imp. "What you love is what I'm looking for. Where can I find him?" Winry's mouth was opened in awe. "Wha-" stuttered Winry. "Wha-what are you?"

Midna rolled her eyes. "I'm a banished shadow imp. Now, listen up. What you love is what I'M looking for! Where is it?"

Winry shivered for a little fear. She pulled out a random automail arm, staring in wonder at Midna in every second.

"Not that, you idiot!" screeched Midna. Edward could hear a faint trace of the yell.

"Did you hear something Al?" he asked his brother. But Al was too busy listening to the gummi bear song.

"Then what is it you want?" asked Winry.

"The boy!" bellowed Midna. "This is for everyone's sake. Tell me where he is!"

Winry felt even more scared. "Uh... th-the blonde boy?"

Midna nodded, arms crossed, angry look upon her face.

"Downstairs at the t-table..."

"NO! I mean the blonde boy in green with the pointy elf ears!"

"I-I don't know..."

Midna sighed. Her bulging veins were calming down. "Then let's go look for him. Unless your too chicken of me." Mocked Midna, facing away from Winry, arms crossed leaning on one hip. "I'M NOT CHICKEN!" hollered Winry, shaking the house. Ed's cereal fell to the ground, as well as his chair.

-------------------------

Swobchi: srry i g2g sleep nao.

Ed: My....my cereal....

Swobchi: HEEHEEHEEE


	5. Chapter 5

Swobchi: Hullo!

Ed: *Listening to Miley Cyrus*

Swobchi: .......... You and Al have no good taste in music. Oh and in the last chapter, forgive me for any spelling mistakes.

-----------------------------------------

Midna wasn't shocked by the yell. She gave a little grin and turned back to Winry. "I heard that he would've been here. I'm assuming that something happened to him?"

Winry shrugged. "He doesn't want to stay here, for there is a short blonde midget that hates him." Ed perked up. He knew Winry was talking about him. He burst Winry's door room open with the usual angry face upon him. "WHO YOU CALLIN A SHORT BEANSPROUT THAT'S SO SHORT HE COULD RIDE ON AN ANT??" His face calmed down a bit when he saw Midna plugging her ears. He thought she was a homunculus. "WINRY!!" he hollered. "What are you doing?! That thing is probably a homunculus! GET AWAY FROM IT!"

Winry shook her head. "Do you see any tattoos?"

"...I'm not gonna search you idiot."

"You're an idiot! There's no tattoos, okay?!"

Midna was a bit huffy herself. "I..." she said teeth gritted. "a stupid human looking motherfu----"

Ed's eyes widened. "Okay! Okay! Before you even get there... What are you and what are you doing here???"

Midna calmed down. "I am a banished shadow imp. Now leave the rest to the girls' conversation."

"You haven't fully answered."

"I came here," she muttered. "To find the hero of Hyrule."

Ed and Winry stared blankly.

"The boy in green you idiots."

"Ohh..."

Out of surprise Midna let an electric red ring run about on Ed. In a blink he was back at the downstairs table. Not even remembering what happened in the last 10 minutes. She turned to Winry. "Let's go find him, kay?"

"Y-you- What did you do to Ed?!"

"Relax, he's not injured. Now, easy way, or the hard way?"

"Uh... easy w-"

Before Winry could finish she was turned black from hair to clothes to shoes, and she disintegrated into a blue and black shadow portal. The next thing she new she was near the house of the homunculi and in her original form. "--ay...?"

"He's here... I know it..."

"Wh-Wha--"

"Stay out here, blondie. I don't think you can handle them."

"Wait!"

.................

Envy had left Link's cage. The Hero lay bruised and bleeding. Midna blent into the shadows, secretly slipping away into Link's cage. Winry wanted to help too. She couldn't bare being worthless to a little imp. She drilled a hole into where she thought Midna would be. She made a little crawl-in-hole to get into the place. She pushed herself inside. Thing is, she judged wrong. Envy spotted her right in front of her little hole. "YOU!" he hollered. He transformed his arm into a chainsaw and began coming at Winry.

--------------

Swobchi: oooh! cliffhanger!

Ed: MY WINRY! NUUU!!!

Swobchi: When the hell do you shut up?

Ed: Never! NUUUU!!!!!

Swobchi: .....


	6. Chapter 6: The chapter of the number 6

Swobchi: w00t check this out! I'm using Microsoft word on my apple!

Ed: um…. So?

Swobchi: ….I question your intelligence.

Ed: :(

* * *

Midna heard Winry shriek. She sighed and left Link for a bit. But she didn't know Link was running out of time. Winry's arm was already cut off. Midna rolled her eyes and tackled Envy. Before Envy knew what him, he was locked in the closet. She left Winry and went back to Link and shipped themselves off back to the Rockbell Residence leaving Winry to find her own way home. Winry, armless and bleeding like crazy, she slipped through the hole she made and hurried back home. She ran into Ed who was picking apples off a tree.

"Ahh…. Sorry…." Muttered Winry. Ed lay on the floor with some of Winry's blood on his glove. "It's alright…" said Ed rubbing his forehead. He noticed Winry's arm was missing. Without a word, he picked her up and carried her home. Winry was becoming dizzy. Her blood left Ed's trail. In seconds, she fell asleep. When they arrived at the home, Ed patched up her arm nub (hehehe nub.) and lay her on a bed.

…………………

MIdna possessed Link's body so that blood wouldn't pour as much and he'd live longer. She dabbed the wounds with cleansing alcohol, scrunching her face with the sting. As soon as she came out, Link fell to the floor, panting. She left him to sleep and went to Winry. (graah...so boring....)

………………..

30 mins. later, Envy busted down the closet door. He hadn't the knowledge of who tackled him: it was all a blur. But he did know this: whoever did it would have something to do with the Elric Brothers. His face darkened and he stormed over to the Rockbell Residence. He crawled into Winry's open window. Midna was hovering over the sleeping girl, arms crossed like a stubborn little brat. He tossed Midna aside like a crumpled paper ball and took form of Ed. The imp crashed against the wall, with a small whimper. Envy crept up to the sleeping armless girl but was interrupted by Midna's angry screech. "You antenna-midget…" right then, the real Ed popped into the room. "WHO ARE YOU CALLIN A PIPSQUEAK MIDGET THAT CAN'T EVEN GO TO THE BEACH BECAUSE HE'S SO SMALL HE'LL SINK IN THE SAND BUT WHEN THE TIDE COMES IN HE DOESN'T EVEN SINK OR WORRY ABOUT DROWNING BECAUSE HE'S SO MICROSCOPIC HE CAN BREATH OXYGEN OUT OF AN ATOM IN THE WATER?!?!?!?!" Envy's eyes widened, and Midna's jaw dropped. Envy still in Ed disguise lifted Winry and jumped out from where he came in. "Winry!" cried Ed. Midna smirked. "That impersonator could make a good shadow monster." Ed stared at her. "Wh-what are you?"

"I think we've met before." Smirked Midna.

"Uh..?"

"Well… I am a banished shadow imp from one of the gates."

"How'd you get banished?"

"How'd you get to be that short?"

Ed held in his anger, understanding that she would not say how.

"By the by, by alchemic studies, a shadow cannot be in any human or realistic form. Just a figure that follows its substance."

"And by scientific studies, humans don't have antennas."

Ed huffed. "You're pretty good at comebacks. Just tell me more about you and why you're here."

"Fine, but you'll leave me alone after that. My name is Midna and I helped Link defeat the fricking twilight in that world."

"More?"

"Edward Cullen sucks?"

"Edwards are awesome!!!"

"Not if they're sparkly vampires!"

"Well anyway, you get the picture. Goo'bye short stuff."

"I am going to murder your family!"

Midna sighed. "I don't have one, you sparkly vamp. Now are you gonna ***** about shortness or are you gonna get blondie?"

"Winry!!"

Midna grinned and in a blink she was gone. Ed smiled a little bit, even with that immature argument, he had made another allie.

* * *

Swobchi: GUESS WHAT!

Ed: What?

Swobchi: YOU'RE GAY!

Ed: D:

I do not own any of the characters unless Dani was in this chapter. Was she? I don remember.

Legend of Zelda ©Nintendo

FMA© Funimation and Hiromu Arakawa

Dani © Swobchi


	7. Chapter 7: Ed and Midna

Swobchi: Ahh so borredddd….. Ed ur still retarded….

Ed: I hope u daiiii

Swobchi: **singin** Ed's so gay n he don even laik n he don even laik….

Ed: STAAPIT!

Swobchi: I do not own any of these charcters, Except for Dani. But I don tink I'll use her in the story anymore…. Lesh say dat she decided to go work at JCPenny or SUMPiN.

Legend of Zelda © Nintendo

FullMetal Alchemist © Funimation

"Okay…" muttered Ed. "She was odd… and… things like her can't exist, but they do… Shadows can't come to life, can they?" He stared at his shadow, stroking his chin as if he had a beard. (Which he wants btw) He flicked his hand at the shadow. "Naah…" he said with a smirk, turning away. He started out the door, but took another look in the room, to see if his shadow wasn't still there. _Maybe…._ He thought. _By "Shadow", she meant… evil, or dark. But she was banished… so maybe I could trust her… _Shrugging, he left the room, and then he remembered: Winry! He rushed down the stairs to the door. With every step, he thought about MIdna being a shadow. An alchemist like him… a scientist… should know what that thing really was. Was it a homunculus? No… it bared no tattoos. Or ouroboros in the least. He stopped in his tracks. _How'm I going to get Winry back?_

Alphonse, the-so-far-unloved-suit-of-armor was simply waxing his helmet when he bumped into Ed. "Hey, Brother." He said. Placing his helmet back so. "Uh… you okay?"

"Yeh, yeh. I'm fine. Just…uh…"

"Gay?"

"For the last time Al, I don't care what all those fangirls say! I'm NOT in a relationship with ROY!"

"I meant 'happy'"

"LIAR! Just move, will ya?"

Ed shoved his brother out of the way and went into the kitchen. Surprisingly, he took out a carton of milk and began to drink it.

Al wandered in. "Milk???" he interrogated. "You're not Ed, are you."

"Shut up, I'm tired."

"You HATE milk!"

"SHADDAP!"

"Ed!"

"SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!"

"…You're drunk."

"I get my best ideas when I'm drunk. Beer is good for the brain."

"So that milk carton is full of beer?"

"No one will suspect it."

"What if Aunt Pinako wants cold milk?

"I put a fake expiration date."

Al let out a sigh and exited. He said a small cuss word in a fake cough.

"You're a robot," said Ed. "you don't cough."

Al had already left, and Ed was chugging beer out of a milk carton.

"Oh that's right…" Ed said to himself. "Where did that… ---burp--- Minda go to…?"

"It's Midna stupid!"

Ed felt a hand slap across his face, but he couldn't see who had done it. He woke from his drunkenness and glared around the room. "Where are you, you imp?"

"I told you what I am. Think about it."

Ed looked to the wall to see if she was a shadow of nothing, practically dancing on the wall… or maybe the floor. Ed looked toward his shadow. "Is that you…?"

"Yes… I do this to humans that need help in real difficult things. But, they have to signal me. Yeah… just give me a sign by pressing up on the d-pad."

"What d-pad?"

"Oh yeah… this isn't the game…."

"What game??"

"Forget it. This is only for battle and whatnot. Say your battling that palm tree in a skirt-thing… signal me, and I can point out his weakness. But, I'll ditch you sometimes to save myself. I'm not immortal."

"But…. Shadows live even if the substance is dead."

"Shut your alchemic mouth. You science can't even explain why a simple circle with patterns can change metal to water."

She came out of his shadow. "That's just proof that I am a shadow." She said positioning her usual stubborn/bratty-looking-pose. "And another reason why shadows like me are better than humans." (INVADER ZIIMM!) Ed puffed up. "Listen," he said through his gritted teeth. "Humans are humans. This is OUR world. Whatever world you came from, you were normal there. Right?"

"But our world was almost to be made here."

"Well it's not going to, only when the time is right will the twilight shine down here."

"God, you make it sound so…. 'time for heroicness'"

Ed sighed. "Leave me to my beer."

Midna rolled her eyes. She slapped the milk carton out of his hand. "Listen, you bitch." She said angrily. "You're blondie has been kidnapped by that… human-formed thing." She faced away, checking to see if no one else was there. She kept her head toward the direction of the stairs, just in case Alphonse came. "You need to get her. Your girlfriend… if she is…. Can't go anywhere. She's disabled, in which you know. So make a little hole near the cell room with your stupid alchemy. From there, make another hole in the back of the room. And then—" she turned to Ed, finding that he was licking beer off the floor. Midna snapped, she practically began to murder Ed. This caused Ed to swab up his mess with a rag, and Midna's veins still bulged in its anger. Ed finished and dumped his rag in the sink and MIdna calmed herself down. Link, who had woken up. Started to head down the stairs. He held his hand to his forehead, it was hot (LITERALLY! TEMPERATURE OKAY!) and he felt dizzy. Looking up at Midna, he waved, he's not the one to question her, he barely even talks. Midna's eyes widened. She looked at the two boys. Ed folded his arms and glared at Link, who woke up after his short-lived coma. Saying nothing to the midget, she hid in Link's shadow.

"You…" said Ed. Link paid no attention to what he said, the words didn't come clear in his mind. "Winry… loves YOU." Midna let out a chuckle that she tried to hold. Link wasn't even listening. He leaned on the wall of the stairs and fell asleep. Ed marched up to the sleeping boy, and slapped him like a girl that got dumped. Link fell backward, still dizzy, still asleep. "Wake up you turd!" Midna popped out. "Don't call him a turd, turd!" she argued.

"Oh, I'M the turd?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant you were returded."

"That's not a word!"

"Your such a nerd! 'OH alchemy says this!' 'It's not impossible this!'"

"Tch! At least I'M not banished from whatever I do!"

"Well what do you do?"

"I work for the military."

"I heard people don't like them coz they're turds. They're only good in America and non-racist people."

"Prove it!'

"You're a turd, YOU of all people should know."

Al came out of his little i-don't-want-to-see-my-brother room, and found Ed arguing with an imp, and Link sleeping on the stairs.

"Uh…?" He started.

Midna jumped. "Uggh…" she frowned. "I have to erase his memory of this…"

"Don't you do ANYTHING to my brother!"

"Like you love him."

Midna kept her hands together, as if she had clapped. Ed stared in wonder. She expanded her hands, and a ball of dark energy danced around. She flung it at Al's head, or helmet. It knocked the helmet down, revealing the suit was empty. 'What?!" she shrieked. "WHAT?!"

Al reached for his "head". "Long story…" he said. "I'd rather not speak of it. But if you must ask, please ask my brother."

Midna's head tilted. "If you're the oldest.," she asked. "Why won't YOU explain?"

And so…

"HEY YOU IMP!" can you guess who's yelling? "I'm the oldest! He's my younger brother! And I'm not spilling anything about that! Al, don't say I'll tell them!

Al put his hands up, the way he did to calm down someone. "Easy…" he sighed. "Don't get intimidated by being called by height. Honestly, it's getting old and annoying."

"YOU HUSH UP!" a yell ever so loud from Ed, woke up Link. His eardrums almost damaged. He rose from the staircase, the shock from the holler tingled his entire body, he was numb. Realizing his clothes were bloody, he went back up the stairs slowly, waiting for the numbness to ware off.

Al was silent after that.

"Okay Al… sorry for yelling… Midna's like another Mustang to me."

"That explains a lot."

"Yes, yes. Go away now."

Al left quickly, he wanted to. In fact, he left before Ed finished his sentence.

Midna crossed her arms. She grinned, her one fang sticking out. "I'd like to meet this mustang." She giggled. "No, you shouldn't." said Ed. "He'll get suspicious, he'll probably do tests on you."

"Did you forget I'm a shadow ALREADY? I have more powers and abilities than you. I don't NEED alchemy to transfer wood to water."

"Fine…" said Ed. "Tomorrow morning. And maybe, just maybe, Mustang can help us find a way to track down Winry."

Midna shape shifted into the form of Winry, but with a shadowy outline. The form looked pale, like it was just black and white. "Oh," it said. "You remembered!" Midna giggled, turning back to her imp-self. She began floating up the stairs, looked back at Ed halfway up. "and…" she grinned. "Watch out when you sleep."

Ed blushed madly. "What're you telling me?!"

Midna frowned. "Ew… your mind is… well I'm not going to say right now. Just… sleep with a nightlight… or would that make it worse…?" She put her fingers to her chin.

Ed looked for Midna's other eye, but the helmet Midna wore…. It blocked it… or maybe the eye is missing? "That helmet…" he said. "Why do you wear it?"

"Well, it's a fused shadow. And I'm a shadow. I had Link get it for me once." she flicked her red-orange ponytail back.

Ed forced a twitching smile. He headed over to his room for a good night sleep. _Today was quite odd._ He thought, changing into his pajamas. _And I think that… Midna wants something from me. That's probably it! But then again…. She seems like a lot of help. And wait… Link got her that helmet?! Oh… they knew each other? Maybe she's not evil… _He lay on his bed. Thinking of what Midna had said. _"Sleep with a nightlight… or would that make it worse?" _He left the main light on, just in case. In case…

Swobchi: cliffhanger? Idk.

Ed: I'm a gummy bear….

Swobchi: I need to think of something for Link. Ooh! Got sumpin! Just nao!  
Ed: …

Swobchi: Oh! And I will be making another story after this: The Legend of Winry. :D

Ed:  okay.


	8. Chapter 8

Swobchi: I'm a chingsa WHAT im an asian wannabe!

Ed: you mean gangst---

Swobchi: DO NOT BE INTERRUPTING MY GENIUS!!!  
Ed: o.o''

---

6:00 A.M. Link was out of his green bloody clothes and in his Ordon clothes, it was summer, the layers of the outfit made him sweat more that he normally should. He brought his bag with him, which contained weapons, cash, and Since Ed hated him, STILL (Swobchi: Ed you turd.), he climbed out the window, but was stopped by Ed himself. "What're you doing?" said Ed with a sophisticated look. Luckily, Ed didn't recognize Link. Link covered his ears with…tissues. So, Ed wasn't exactly the one to notice. "Are you breaking in?" He raised an eyebrow. Link's face was full of awkward shock. He shook his head. There was no ivy under the window he had climbed out from. He cursed his luck. Stupid of him to think he could climb a wall without ivy. Ed shut the window so he couldn't get back in. Was Link just going to hang from a windowsill all day? He put all his weight on his arms, pressed against the sill. He slowly lifted his left arm, reached for his bag, and---

**CRAASH!!!**

What was that?

Link fell backward, screaming, hoping he didn't die. He landed on his feet, but it felt like his organs got tangled, and they were trying to find their proper spot. He fell back to lie, to look up at the incident. He heard screaming…

"Winry's GONE?!" yelled a voice. It sounded like an elderly woman.

"I'm sorry Aunt Pinako, I hadn't know…"

**CRASH!!!**

"Don't waste your wrenches on me!"

"Why would a dog of the military like yourself need to be disciplined by an elder like me?!"

Soon, the window was entirely broken; wrenches and tools flew out with ease.

Tools, then little spits of blood. Link shuddered. Elders.

"A-are you done?" came a small, wimpy voice.

"Yes," said Aunt Pinako. "Now geddout!"

"Hey, you woke me up too early. Can I have a liiittllee more sleep?"

"No."

Ed flew out the window. "YOU CRAZY HALF-PIPE!!" He fell to the grass, a bump on his head, bloody nose, and perhaps, a missing tooth.

"Crazy old bat…" he looked up at Link, who had been watching the whole time. A small wind came and blew the tissues away. "Oh, so you're Link." Ed huffed. "I will keel you!!!" he clapped his hands together and ran his left hand over his right. A blade formed right before his eyes. Link, didn't want to hurt Ed. So he just grabbed his bag and ran. Using alchemy, Ed brought spikes up from the ground to confuse Link. Link did his best to avoid it at all costs. One of them got him, piercing his right side. Blown back, he crashed to a tree, gripping the wound. Then he remembered, the milk in a bottle that Sera from Ordon gave him! Ed was about to give the final blow when Link pulled the milk out. Ed, terrified of the healthy dairy, backed away in fear. He reformed his right arm back to normal. Link twisted the cap off and drank exactly one half of the milk. His wound healed before their eyes. Link placed the bottle back in the bag, and walked away as if nothing happened. Ed stared dumbfounded. "Y-y-you turd!" he sobbed. "Fine! Walk away! Milk isn't that powerful! Y-you're over exaggerating it! Yeah!" He kept ranting and ranting. To hush his stupidity, Link played his Ocarina as he left.

And so, the blonde shorty repeatedly bumped his head on a spike. Fail…fail…fail…

"Hey," came a voice. "What'cha doin?" Ed looked up from his depression. "Hi, Midna."

"You're a 'dog of the military', huh?"

"Meaning I'm a State Alchemist, to be respected with all glory.

"Ha! Silly human. (Silly's a weird word.) I don't get the way you live. Other militaries are much better than this heap of garbage."

"Okay, you can shut up now…"

"You forgot, didn't you?"

"No I didn't… what didn't I forget?"

"Haha! I was expecting that. Next time you see Link, don't pick a fight with him. You're lucky he's a nice guy. Maybe then you can keep your memory straight."

"Anyway… I have to go to work."

Midna came closer. "Do you remember noowww???"

Ed blushed a little and stepped back. "Nooo…"

"Humans." She warped into his shadow. "Do what you do, human…"

--

Minutes later, they were at HQ. It was still very early, not much people were around. Roy Mustang was in his office. Ed guessed he was sleeping, slacking, or maybe actually doing paperwork. He knocked on the door and then entered. Mustang was in fact sleeping. "WAKE UP COLONEL!"

Roy jumped. "Edward, how rude of you." Roy dusted off his shoulders.

"I knocked." Midna slowly slipped out of Ed's shadow and watched from his shoulder.

"What is it you want, Fullmetal?"

"First of all, Winry has been kidnapped. The Homunculi have gotten her."

"No surprise. I MEAN WINRY'S GONE?? Oh no, the young miss."

"Don't you go hitting on her, you ***. Now listen—" he was interrupted when he saw black hayate step out from under the desk. "Heyy! Hayate! So adorable…." Ed reached out to pet him. Trying not to be seen, Midna rolled her eyes. Hayate barked, knowing that Midna was there. _Crap…_ thought Midna _honed senses and all… If only I could get Link to—_

"Fullmetal, what were you saying?"

"Oh, yes. Well… the homunculus took Winry some reason. Is it okay if I take some time off….?"

Roy smirked. "You know what to leave though right?"

"Yeah, yeah." Ed plopped the pocketwatch onto his desk. "See ya." Ed left while Midna hid under Roy's desk. "So you're Mustang?" she said. Roy took a glimpse around. "Who said that?"

"First of all, I want to clear things up. A war in a place called Ishbal. Heehee! What a weird name. What was it about?"

"I-I well…"

"I'm waiting…

"I don't really know, actually."

"hmmhmm! And where you to kill 2 doctors by last name of 'Rockbell?'"

"Who are you?! Show your face!"

Midna hanged on his shoulders and softly whispered in his ear: "Answer me."

_Am I going crazy?_ Thought Roy. _What is this?_

"Yes…I killed two doctors, not on any side. They were Amestrian, they healed Ishbalans and anyone else in need."

"Poor couple. How dare you… kill two innocent doctors. And their little girl… who was simply staying in a small town with her elderly aunt…"

"How do you know this?!"

Midna grinned. "Oh, no one told me. I just knew… Heehee. Goodbye."

Roy hadn't seen her face, the voice sounded like a small child. He covered his face with his hands,

--

Winry woke strapped to a bed. "Nngghhh…" she groaned. She had no idea where she was. She glimpsed around the room. Next to her was a brown young haired woman, with ears just Like Link's. She wore a purple and white dress. Crowned on her head was a tiara. She was strapped to a similar bed.

"Where am I…" Winry had to ask. "I have no idea…" replied the woman. She looked at Winry. "Your arm—it's gone?"

"I-it was scary…"

"You don't have to speak of it."

"So… what's going on here?"

"I don't know. Last thing I think that happened to be was… being in a white placid with a gate." (Winry: :O Oh em gee!)

"If you don't mind my asking, what's your name?"  
The woman hesitated. "Zelda."

--

Swobchi: Ed, you look like a lady

Ed: :O

Swobchi: ED'S A TRANSVESTITE!

Ed: NUH UH!

Swobchi: EXPLAIN THIS! **digs through Ed's laundry and holds up a…**

Ed: o///o


	9. Chapter 9

Don't feel like introductions. Legend of Zelda belongs to Nintendo as Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Funimation.

Roy was officially scared. He ran out of his room and slid down the empty hall. If the lights flickered, he knew he was being haunted. He looked back at the room he had just been in, swaying his arms back and forth as he ran. Next thing he knew, he crashed into Riza. She yelped as Roy knocked her down. "Sorry Hawkeye…" he stretched out his hand to help her up. She glared at him. Her eyes were bloodshot, for she had just woken up. Instead of pulling herself up, she tugged him and held a gun to his forehead. "Don't mess around today." Roy jumped back. He'd rather be in the room where Midna scared him. "Ah, sorry again…" Riza stood up and practically pierced his ear and left. By standing soldiers had no care for Roy; they continued what it was they're doing. Roy grasped the bloody "ear piercing" he had. Then the voice from earlier sounded a giggle. Roy looked around, middle finger and index finger to the hole. "You just got dissed!" it laughed. Soldiers then looked at Roy. "In case you didn't know, I'm not human. Nor, do I look like one, at least, not right now. But that's not the point. I demand one of your fire gloves." Without hesitation, he threw his right glove to the floor. "There! Take it!" Bystanding soldiers stared with wonder. By the look in their eyes, you can see them ask each other: _What the hell? Who's he talking to? You wanna take that glove?_ Midna picked up the glove and left before their eyes. And all personnel obviously thought: _Day-um, she's shorter than Ed._

--

Link found himself in a desert-town. There was half a statue eroded to a church rooftop. The other thing that caught his eye was a large soup line in front of a small shack. He regretted wearing his tunic, leggings, boots and cap. It's_ blazing_ hot. A girl with Pink bangs and long brown hair went straight up to him. "ED!" she exclaimed. "OH FINALLY YOU COME BACK! I've been waiting sooo long…"

So Link finally decided to speak. "I… am not Ed…"

That ended the girl's excited. "Meep!" she squealed. "ah… I'm, uh… well, I mistook you for this _cuute_ young boy named Edward Elric… caused a huge ruckus in this town though." _THAT Ed? _"Anyways, I'm Rose." She gave a warm smile. "And you are?" Yet, Link was running away from this girl. Somehow, he thought that there was a certain someone he knew that didn't like her. Curving and passing, he head for the abandoned church. His eyes wandered, from the altar to the stained-glass paintings….

"**DON'T GO IN THEREE!!!"**

Link pivoted toward the door, which Rose burst into. She was panting and sweating, leaning on the door to regain strength.

"Don't-huff-go-huff-into-huff---"

Link wasn't listening. In order not to piss one of the people he knew, he just decided to run down stairs to an underground passage…

It was like there was a landslide. There was just a narrow hall with a door, covered in rocks, at the end. He used one of the bombs Barnes gave him and flung it to the blocked entrance.

"**COME BAAAACKK!"**

Regardless of how itwas a warning, he dashed through the hole.

His dash came to a stop as he approached a poisonous river-path. Footsteps grew louder and louder, and he suspected it was Rose. Link lifted his foot over the water—

"Bad Idea."

Link looked up. A man who looked quite like Ed emerged out of the dark. "Just dipping a toe," he smiled. "Would lead to…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pocket watch. Without hesitation, he flung it to where Link would have dipped his foot. The watch boiled, then quickly disintegrated. "There's no way to survive."

"**PLEASE! COME BACK!!"**

Link swiveled on his foot. He'd rather die than see Rose, who seemed to have a liking to him; his hair might've looked like Ed's. He closed his eyes and put his hands in a diving motion, leaned forward, but yet…

**THWACK!**

Link hit solid ground. Now, there was a little platform to continue on. It grew longer and longer, stretching out into the dark. The man raised his hand. "Good luck."

Link hesitated.

"What's wrong?"

He stared into the darkness. _Swoon. Swoon._

"Fine, go hide in there…"

The man slapped his hand to the ground, and a closet formed on the other wall. Link nodded his head in thanks and dashed into the closet, just before Rose dashed into the chamber.

"Where…_pant_ did_ pant_ he _pant_ go???" she huffed.

The man looked toward the water, acting like Link had died. Rose fell to her knees. "No…" she cried. "Not another one!!" And just like that, she left. Link pressed his ear to the closet door to hear her footsteps. Then new ones came, they grew louder, and toward the closet. The man slid open the closet door and Link fell, head first. "Owwww….." he muttered.

The man chuckled. "Hah… was that your ex-girlfriend?"

Link jumped up. "No! My girlfriend is _much_ more beautiful!"

"Well, her first one died."

They both shuddered. "Oh, and little green boy…" he said. "Tell the Elric brothers I said hi—well, Hohenheim said hi."

--

Swobchi is bored. Bai bai.


End file.
